Watch Your Language: 7 Tips for Big Results
by Christine Kane

A few years ago, I was in a car with the promoter of one of my performances. He had picked me up at the airport and was driving me to my hotel. On the way, we talked guitars. We got onto the subject of Olson Guitars, arguably the best guitar in the whole world. At one point, the promoter said, “Yea, well, in my entire life I’ll never own an Olson guitar.”

There was a time when I’d let a remark like this slide on by, even adding my own “me either” to the mix.

Now, I can’t. Yoda steps into my head and says, (in his Yoda voice) “So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done.”

So, I turned to the promoter and said, “You are NOT allowed to say that!”

This is because I know the power of language. When you know that words become things, it’s hard to let language slide.

I can’t help it. I have a rule:
Friends don’t let friends speak crappily.

Language is powerful. Words can create reality. Even if my promoter friend doesn’t know how on earth he’d ever get his guitar, it doesn’t mean he should cut off the possibility with his own words.

If you’re wondering how to begin watching your words, here are 7 practical language principles for becoming a better creator of your life.

1 – Eliminate “never” and “always.”
Never and always are words of hysteria. “I always mess everything up!” “I’ll never figure this out!” “I’ll never get an Olson Guitar.”

First off, it’s not true. If you always messed everything up, you wouldn’t have made it out of the womb.

And second off, extreme words are designed to hook you. It’s just your emotions taking a joyride. You’re more powerful than that.

2 – Use AND instead of BUT.
“But” dismisses the statement before it. “And” includes it. For instance, “That’s a good article, but it needs some editing” isn’t nearly as encouraging as “That’s a good article, AND it needs some editing.”

“I love you, but…” is another great example of the dismissive power of “but.”

3 – Avoid “Should.”
Should is a heinous word for many reasons. It is victim-speak. It disempowers its object. It negates desires, thereby making it harder to make choices. It adds a nebulous energy to the decision making process. Use empowered language instead: “I could…” “I would…” “I am choosing to,” “I would like to,” “I don’t want to,” or “You might consider…”

4 – Stop calling yourself depressed.
Also stop allowing anyone to tell you that you are depressed. When you call yourself “depressed” or “obsessive compulsive” or “ADHD” or whatever – you’re claiming this thing. You’re calling it forth with the most powerful two words in our language: “I am.” That creates very little option for the transformation of this condition.

5 – Delete the word “hate” from your vocabulary.
“Hate” has lots of energy. When you use it, you send lots of energy out into the very thing you “hate.” Even if it’s negative energy, it’s still a powerful force, adding its charge to that thing. You’re also depleting this energy from your own spirit as you say it.

6 – Be “great.” Or “wonderful.”
A disease of the creative temperament is a belief that we must be authentic at all costs. So we can’t answer a simple “How are you?” without delving into an in-depth scan of our emotional temperature.

Try this instead: When people ask you how you’re doing, just say, “I’m great!”

I used to think if I said this, then I better have a good reason for saying it, like I just won the lottery or something. I thought it would make me look suspicious, and people would start to wonder if something was wrong with me. But then I did it. And you know what? Most people don’t care why you’re great. You’re saying it for you.

7 – Pay attention to the music of your speech.
You know how some people? They talk in question marks? And you have no idea why? But it makes you think you shouldn’t really rely on them? And it makes you not want to hire them?
The music of your language says a lot about you. If you let your sentences droop like Eeyore, (“Thanks for noticing me.”) or if you do the uncertain question mark language, take note of what attitudes are causing this. These patterns are created for a reason. Even if it feels like faking it at first, generate confidence as you speak.

About the Author:
Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 8,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

Hi Creators and Big Thinkers!

I want to personally invite you to join me on a special, complimentary call to discover how to make 2010 a truly magical year!

A few months ago at our annual event, I pulled back the curtains on our brand new programs for 2010!

The Smart Women Success Programs offer entrepreneurial training and support and they also allow you to choose an emphasis on creating a “membership business” if you want. Nothing else like this exists anywhere else right now!

Our three levels are Membership, Mastermind, and Inner Circle.

And no matter which level you choose, you will receive insider business tips, exclusive networking opportunities, structured training, and access to personally ask me questions each and every month!

If you want to grow a business fast, yet gracefully–I am your “coachsultant”.

If you want to surround yourself with genuine, authentic, caring women–my masterminds are a perfect choice because the women I attract each year are just that!

2009 has been a phenomenal year for all of my clients, many of whom share their successes here: http://vimeo.com/7806109

And here is a picture we took during their mastermind photo shoot in LA earlier this year…

As I said, during my October Annual Event a few months ago, I debuted next year’s programs, and the majority of our 2010 Mastermind and Inner Circle spots have been filled.  Here are the beautiful women I have accepted so far:

• Daria Boissonnas
• Karen Wilson
• Linda Jones
• Kiva Leatherman
• Carrie Jacobs
• Morna McEver Golletz
• Ruth Reiner
• Patricia Selmo

So only a few spaces remain – is one of them yours?

Because our office has received many inquiries I am hosting a special, complimentary call explaining all the details of all three levels of support.

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A Complimentary One-Time Informational Teleseminar:

“Make 2010 a Magical Year!”

LIVE with Sheri McConnell

Monday, December 14, 2009, at 1 pm Central

(11 am Pacific, Noon Mountain, 1 pm Central, 2 pm Eastern)

Call in number: 1-800-662-6992

Code: 1020261

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On this one-time call, I will be sharing:

* all the details on exactly what is included in my 2010 Smart Women Success Programs

* how to know if you are ready to take the leap and invest in your own ability to succeed

* some tips on how to let your brilliance emerge and hit the ground running in January

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Even if you’re just curious, come join us and listen…

And if you are ready to learn more now and try to grab one of the last few slots, visit us now at http://www.smartwomenprograms.com

Hope to “hear” you on the call!

Supporting you,

Sheri McConnell-CEO

Movie of 2009 Lessons & How Women Are The Next Wave of Entrepreneurial Leaders

Watch below as Sheri (CEO of two global associations and a million dollar success training company) and some of her 2009 Mastermind clients discuss the lessons learned this year. Then listen in as Sheri and Ali Brown (an INC. 500 CEO) explore why women are the next wave of entrepreneurial leaders in the world!

Download an application below to find out about all the benefits of our

2010 Mastermind and Inner Circle Programs.

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If you have questions about your application or readiness for one of our programs, please contact our office for a free 20 minute strategy session with Sheri and/or her Office Manager.

You must turn in your application first to take advantage of the free session.

If you decide not to move forward and enroll in our 2010 programs after your session, your application will not be processed.

Lessons Learned During A Year Full of “Growth Opportunities” by Sheri McConnell

This year was an amazing year full of growth opportunities. I know many of you expected me to say challenges, but that truly wasn’t my experience at all. Although I experienced more lessons this year than in some of my previous years online, I welcomed them all as they were coming because I knew my willingness to learn this year would mean I would move even faster once the economy recovered.

Here is a quick inventory of some of the “growth opportunities” I experienced in 2009.

1.  Your Perception of the Economy Is What Matters

Awareness is everything. Your awareness of how you literally have so much potential right inside of you will take you through all economic climates. Sadly, most people just don’t have this awareness yet. All the external factors (our health, our economy, our financial situation) can be perceived in such a way that you can move through them no matter what. It is about being positive and about being aware of the energy and thoughts inside you at any given moment. If in “your world” you perceive you have choices to quit “if this” and “if that” happen, then guess what, you might as well not get started.

I learned this year that if you really want it, you won’t have excuses. And trust me, they are all excuses. We don’t say no to an opportunity because of lack of money, or too much travel, or lack of time… we say no simply because we just don’t want to move forward. And here is the thing. In my opinion, is it OK to not move forward all the time. Nature tells us that we all must go dormant for a period of time to truly flourish again in the future. Being aware that you are choosing to go dormant is OK.  Having the perception that the external things are the reasons not to grow is not OK. Just know when you are ready to flourish, external reasons are not of your concern and you only need to be “aware” and then commit to be able succeed.

2.  Your Boundaries Help Others Grow

They have to test your boundaries to grow. Did you get that? People don’t test your boundaries to hurt you or to take advantage of you. They test them because they are still growing. And they never stop growing. As you can imagine, if you are a coach or consultant or a “coachsultant”, then be prepared to constantly have your boundaries tested.

How do you grow? Your keep working through your own boundaries and tweaking them until you are happy. Yep, it is that easy to be happy. Here are a few areas that I have found having good boundaries will move you forward the fastest:

• Your physical and mental space
• Advice you take
• Access you give
• Problems you take on
• Results of others that you absorb

3.  Your Customers Want YOU–Mind, Body, and Soul

They want balance. This year I really understood at a deep level how to expand and grow past my comfort zone even more. In the previous ten years, I had spent so much time mastering the mind and soul parts of myself and my business that I had in some ways neglected the body. (Sidenote: I had instead given my body to my four children, but that is another article!) This year I realized I had a been subconsciously telling the people I inspire that you can be successful, but you can’t be balanced. I was “showing” them that you can’t have it all when I wasn’t in shape. Once I began to become more balanced in the “Body” area of my life this year by hiring a trainer and paying better attention to what I ate, my clients literally “felt better” too and began to thank me for my hard work.

Here are just a few ways your customers need you to be balanced:

Mind
They need you to provide good content that helps them detect patterns and learn quickly.

Body
They need you to breathe, move gracefully through struggle, and most of all take care of yourself.

Soul
They need you to help them connect their work to the passions of others so they can experience their own “true meaning”.

4.  Your Customers Are a Part of YOU

We are truly all one.  This year I was able to watch how when we take part in “negativity” at all it shrinks us. Even if we react to negativity as a way to decompress or vent, it shrinks us. Even if we don’t participate in the negativity, but allow the energy of it to fill the air we are breathing, it shrinks us. This year I learned that the only way to run a business and to experience a truly amazing life is to live moment-by-moment in the essence that “we are all one”.

Want To Use This Article In Your Ezine or Website? You have my permission, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Sheri McConnell is the CEO of Sheri McConnell Companies, Inc. and the president and founder of two national organizations, the National Association of Women Writers-NAWW and the Global Institute of Associations-GIA. You can visit Sheri, access her free article archive, and find out more about all four of her companies at www.sherimcconnell.com. Sheri lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, their four children, a weenie dog, and two cats.

Three Ways To Redirect Your Ego So You Can Create Positive Change in The World by Sheri McConnell

I grew a lot this year. My bottom line grew 398% and projections are to hit 2.6 million in 2010. But more importantly, on a personal level, I really stepped into my power to create positive change for others. I played a bigger game this year and guess what my results were proportional. But the real reason I know I was able to really rock it this year was because I learned how to redirect my ego and focus on the positive change I am creating in the world. I realized at a deep level that my work is not about me and that I am supposed to use my “stories” to inspire others. And because I got out of my way even more this year, I learned how to think and plan with the realization that we are certainly “all one”.  This realization led my husband and I to come up with the idea during our anniversary dinner to start Smart Women Foundation this month. Below are three ways you can also redirect your ego so you can create positive change for your clients, friends, and family.  And because I realize I am a “student” first and foremost, I also included “ego wisdom” from some of my wonderful friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter. Enjoy!

1. Focus On Positive Results Not The Negative People

When we are focused on the positive results, the actual positive change we can create in the world, our ego has no choice but to go neutral. And since we are operating from awareness outside of our own needs and worries, we are able to let go of negative people and situations much easier. There are many ways to focus on positive results and center your body and mind so the ego becomes neutral. I love the Matrix movies on so many levels. The journey that the main character Neo takes to let go of his ego and focus on the results (the positive change that only he can create, his destiny if you will) is such a great example of what power is in each of us. The Matrix Trilogy comes full circle too when at the end Neo steps into his full power and knows his true purpose. But the journey along the way was full of negativity and downright danger. To deal with the negativity and to foresee danger, he would find his center through meditation and going within for the answers. And did I mention the soundtrack is really cool too!

Jenny Fenig, one of my Twitter followers gave this advice for redirecting ego: Practice yoga; give more, expect less; think of the ego as when you Edge God Out.

And one of my 2009 Mastermind members,  Janice Campbell says that she brackets her day with gratitude to redirect ego. She shared, “There’s nothing more centering than the reality that you have so much to be grateful for. It shifts your focus outward and makes sharing inevitable.”

2. Don’t Worry About Consequences If You Are In Integrity With Your Actions

I have learned that sometimes we have to let go of everything to trust those things which we can’t see. I remember when I was going through my divorce, I felt like all I had was integrity. I didn’t have a penny to feed us, but I had the knowing that I was doing the right thing. I was married to a man with a huge Catholic family and I was all alone. My mom was an orphan and I was an only child and I barely new my dad since I had just met him a few years earlier. Anyway as I stood strong through a 9 month battle to keep my two girls under three at the time, I literally had no one. Both of my parents were not healthy enough mentally or physically to deal with the situation so I moved forward knowing I was doing the right thing even though it felt like I must be wrong because my now ex-husband had 20 people in court with him each and every time we had to go. I would get on the stand each time, shaking, looking into 20 pairs of eyes and then I would begin to speak the truth.

That was the year I learned about integrity and going within to become a strong person. The consequences of my actions to leave an abusive marriage could have cost me my children…  but I knew I was in integrity with my actions and I wasn’t about to let my children grow up in a similar situation my mother had put me in over and over again as she remarried many times during my childhood.

That was 13 years ago and because I took those brave steps in my twenties I gave my children such an amazing life.

In retrospect I am so glad I was all alone, because I was able to let my ego go to work for me and to get my body and mind through a very hard point in my life. Nothing in business or life sense has compared to that year as you could imagine. I think I owe my success to the growth that happened during that year.

In business and in life, I have personally always felt like doing what I knew to be the right thing was way more important than any of the consequences of those actions. I don’t think I could do this without being able to get clear and redirect my ego along the way. In a way, my husband and his family who were trying to take my beautiful children from me because of their egos, allowed me to find my higher self that year. Thank goodness that “truth” eventually surfaces and those who act from integrity move forward in a more peaceful way.

Facebook friend, Kelle Eli and “consciousness” expert, said, “It’s not about squishing the ego, it’s about redirecting it to work FOR the spirit, not contrary to it. So long as you have the concept of one must dominate the other, you will forever attract conflict.”

Alexis Martin Neely, my beautiful 2009 Mastermind buddy says that, “It’s all about awareness. Be aware when you are operating out of fear, grasping, and scarcity. Recognize it’s the ego, thank it for trying to help and decide to operate from your higher self.”

3. Talk About Ideas Not People

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

I heard this quote on a teleseminar a while back. I think it was by the intuitive soul, Beath Davis. And I really resonate with the message of it. I think sometimes we go on autopilot and just aren’t aware of how we are letting our ego drive our behaviors and our lives. I have always steered clear of gossip and yes, I have ended up being the “loner” sometimes because of this. I felt so good when I heard the quote because this was exactly how I have been living my life for at least the last ten years (I am 39) and now I know why. I have a “great big mind”!  And I never really realized why I don’t care for the discussion of politics or current events more than a mention.

One the most aware coaches I know, Christine Kane shared with me that “Lots of times we think the ego is the part of us that wants to play big. I have found that the ego doesn’t necessarily love that playing big stuff as much as it loves the attention-getting-make-me-look-good stuff.”   She says, “I find that my ego (god bless her!) gets all stuck in the puffy stuff when my soul (god bless her, too!) isn’t worried about looking good.  AWARENESS is what brings the clarity to know which motivation is driving us.”

I think Eleanor’s quote is so powerful because it brings to question our awareness of how we are creating our lives and our results one behavior at a time.

Want To Use This Article In Your Ezine or Website? You have my permission, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Sheri McConnell is the CEO of Sheri McConnell Companies, Inc. and the president and founder of two national organizations, the National Association of Women Writers-NAWW and the Global Institute of Associations-GIA. You can visit Sheri, access her free article archive, and find out more about all four of her companies at www.sherimcconnell.com. Sheri lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, their four children, a weenie dog, and two cats.

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Hi Creators and Big Thinkers!

How are you? I hope you are enjoying the Fall season so far. We have some very scary decorations out this year complete with big spiders, a life size mummy, and a life size grim reaper… yes, even a few adults have commented on how scary it is. I really do have too much fun this time of year.

On the business side of things, the last few weeks have been very exciting as I have been reviewing all the applications for next year’s Smart Women Success Programs! So far I have approved 8 people for our Level Two Mastermind and 1 person for our Level Three Inner Circle…. so if you are interested in possibly masterminding with me next year, act quickly. I am only accepting 4 more people at Level Two and 1 more person at Level Three. Of course, now I bet you are very curious as to all the details of the program… Just go to http://www.smartwomenprograms.com and download an application now to see why people are applying so quickly.  When you get there, make sure you download the application for Association Clients.

Sheri McConnell

PS

By the way, you can also listen in on a brand new call on Monday, October 26th at 1 pm CST for a Sneak Preview Call on our 2010 Smart Women Success Programs!

Date: October 26th
Time: 11am (Pacific), Noon (Mountain), 1 pm (Central), 2 pm (Eastern)
Call in number: 1-800-662-6992
Code: 1020261

When you register for the GIA Event before September 27th, you get to go to Ali Brown’s SHINE Event for free! (A $1497 value!)

Hurry, be decisive, and take advantage of this amazing opportunity while it lasts. Next year will certainly be the BEST YEAR for all entrepreneurs who attend both events.

See all the GIA Event details at http://www.gia-connect.com/events — register today and I look forward to seeing you at both events!

AND if you missed our preview calls for the GIA event, you can listen to them all at: http://www.gia-connect.com/previewcalls

To your success,

Sheri McConnell

CEO of the Global Institute of Associations

How to Create Passionate Connections

Do you feel validated? I heard Oprah once say that she thinks everyone on this earth has one basic need—to be validated. I know when I started the National Assn of Women Writers it was because I needed to find other women who loved to write and create like me. I needed to learn with them and laugh with them because I yearned for the validation that I would receive as I in turn validated the writers too. Little did I realize at the time how many women all over the world needed their goals and dreams affirmed just as I did.

I too believe that validation or passionate connections as I like to call them are so important that I have built multiple companies with that vision in mind. Here are a five ways I have learned to create passionate connections and validate others over the last seven years as I grew the NAWW and my other companies (www.sherimcconnell.com). Even if you don’t want to start a business—whatever your goals are—I know you will accomplish them by reaching out to validate others and following the tips below. Enjoy the journey!

Tip 1: Be of Service—Do you know what Web 2.0 is? It is the evolution of the current state of the Internet… the trend of social networking and all of the technology that supports it. I love that the present culture of the Internet has evolved to focus on people and that the technology makes it even easier to be of service. Being of service and helping others feel good about themselves is not only rewarding, it allows you to grow exponentially. You grow internally as a person and externally because your influence will have a farther reach.

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