Three Ways To Redirect Your Ego So You Can Create Positive Change in The World by Sheri McConnell
I grew a lot this year. My bottom line grew 398% and projections are to hit 2.6 million in 2010. But more importantly, on a personal level, I really stepped into my power to create positive change for others. I played a bigger game this year and guess what my results were proportional. But the real reason I know I was able to really rock it this year was because I learned how to redirect my ego and focus on the positive change I am creating in the world. I realized at a deep level that my work is not about me and that I am supposed to use my “stories” to inspire others. And because I got out of my way even more this year, I learned how to think and plan with the realization that we are certainly “all one”. This realization led my husband and I to come up with the idea during our anniversary dinner to start Smart Women Foundation this month. Below are three ways you can also redirect your ego so you can create positive change for your clients, friends, and family. And because I realize I am a “student” first and foremost, I also included “ego wisdom” from some of my wonderful friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter. Enjoy!
1. Focus On Positive Results Not The Negative People
When we are focused on the positive results, the actual positive change we can create in the world, our ego has no choice but to go neutral. And since we are operating from awareness outside of our own needs and worries, we are able to let go of negative people and situations much easier. There are many ways to focus on positive results and center your body and mind so the ego becomes neutral. I love the Matrix movies on so many levels. The journey that the main character Neo takes to let go of his ego and focus on the results (the positive change that only he can create, his destiny if you will) is such a great example of what power is in each of us. The Matrix Trilogy comes full circle too when at the end Neo steps into his full power and knows his true purpose. But the journey along the way was full of negativity and downright danger. To deal with the negativity and to foresee danger, he would find his center through meditation and going within for the answers. And did I mention the soundtrack is really cool too!
Jenny Fenig, one of my Twitter followers gave this advice for redirecting ego: Practice yoga; give more, expect less; think of the ego as when you Edge God Out.
And one of my 2009 Mastermind members, Janice Campbell says that she brackets her day with gratitude to redirect ego. She shared, “There’s nothing more centering than the reality that you have so much to be grateful for. It shifts your focus outward and makes sharing inevitable.”
2. Don’t Worry About Consequences If You Are In Integrity With Your Actions
I have learned that sometimes we have to let go of everything to trust those things which we can’t see. I remember when I was going through my divorce, I felt like all I had was integrity. I didn’t have a penny to feed us, but I had the knowing that I was doing the right thing. I was married to a man with a huge Catholic family and I was all alone. My mom was an orphan and I was an only child and I barely new my dad since I had just met him a few years earlier. Anyway as I stood strong through a 9 month battle to keep my two girls under three at the time, I literally had no one. Both of my parents were not healthy enough mentally or physically to deal with the situation so I moved forward knowing I was doing the right thing even though it felt like I must be wrong because my now ex-husband had 20 people in court with him each and every time we had to go. I would get on the stand each time, shaking, looking into 20 pairs of eyes and then I would begin to speak the truth.
That was the year I learned about integrity and going within to become a strong person. The consequences of my actions to leave an abusive marriage could have cost me my children… but I knew I was in integrity with my actions and I wasn’t about to let my children grow up in a similar situation my mother had put me in over and over again as she remarried many times during my childhood.
That was 13 years ago and because I took those brave steps in my twenties I gave my children such an amazing life.
In retrospect I am so glad I was all alone, because I was able to let my ego go to work for me and to get my body and mind through a very hard point in my life. Nothing in business or life sense has compared to that year as you could imagine. I think I owe my success to the growth that happened during that year.
In business and in life, I have personally always felt like doing what I knew to be the right thing was way more important than any of the consequences of those actions. I don’t think I could do this without being able to get clear and redirect my ego along the way. In a way, my husband and his family who were trying to take my beautiful children from me because of their egos, allowed me to find my higher self that year. Thank goodness that “truth” eventually surfaces and those who act from integrity move forward in a more peaceful way.
Facebook friend, Kelle Eli and “consciousness” expert, said, “It’s not about squishing the ego, it’s about redirecting it to work FOR the spirit, not contrary to it. So long as you have the concept of one must dominate the other, you will forever attract conflict.”
Alexis Martin Neely, my beautiful 2009 Mastermind buddy says that, “It’s all about awareness. Be aware when you are operating out of fear, grasping, and scarcity. Recognize it’s the ego, thank it for trying to help and decide to operate from your higher self.”
3. Talk About Ideas Not People
“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
I heard this quote on a teleseminar a while back. I think it was by the intuitive soul, Beath Davis. And I really resonate with the message of it. I think sometimes we go on autopilot and just aren’t aware of how we are letting our ego drive our behaviors and our lives. I have always steered clear of gossip and yes, I have ended up being the “loner” sometimes because of this. I felt so good when I heard the quote because this was exactly how I have been living my life for at least the last ten years (I am 39) and now I know why. I have a “great big mind”! And I never really realized why I don’t care for the discussion of politics or current events more than a mention.
One the most aware coaches I know, Christine Kane shared with me that “Lots of times we think the ego is the part of us that wants to play big. I have found that the ego doesn’t necessarily love that playing big stuff as much as it loves the attention-getting-make-me-look-good stuff.” She says, “I find that my ego (god bless her!) gets all stuck in the puffy stuff when my soul (god bless her, too!) isn’t worried about looking good. AWARENESS is what brings the clarity to know which motivation is driving us.”
I think Eleanor’s quote is so powerful because it brings to question our awareness of how we are creating our lives and our results one behavior at a time.
Want To Use This Article In Your Ezine or Website? You have my permission, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Sheri McConnell is the CEO of Sheri McConnell Companies, Inc. and the president and founder of two national organizations, the National Association of Women Writers-NAWW and the Global Institute of Associations-GIA. You can visit Sheri, access her free article archive, and find out more about all four of her companies at www.sherimcconnell.com. Sheri lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, their four children, a weenie dog, and two cats.
